The next kids will be in cribs till they're 12

We moved to BIG BEDS today and I was very nervous. We have plotted the move, bought the furniture, PAINTED the furniture, and spent the last two weekends dismantling our office to make room for our rapidly expanding family.

Alex and Sasha were pumped about the new beds. We talked up the sheets, the wall decals (not yet arrived) and the new privilege of sleeping with a PILLOW for the first time. They actually said, "Thank you mommy! Thank you daddy! I WOOOOVE my new bed!!!!!" It was very touching.



Since we took everything out of the office (their new room), we thought it wise not to move any of their toys in until the sleeping patterns were well established. In this room the kids have beds and an empty dresser and . . . nothing else. Every item that could distract or destroy was removed from the room. Or so I thought.

The kids start their first big-bed nap and I hear a lot of activity. I went in a few times and remind them to go to sleep, but ultimately had to wait for them to calm down and sleep themselves. At various times . . .

Alex terrorized Sasha by trying to sleep next to her.

Sasha laughed hysterically at her stuffed animals.

They both ran several hundred laps around the room.

At one point, I heard a mysterious heavy banging sound. It crossed my mind to investigate, but I remembered that I had stripped the room bare (such a prepared mom!). They were probably just kicking the wall or something--no worries.

Eventually, I heard the sweet sound of *silence* and thought what every parent thinks right before disaster strikes, "That wasn't so bad. I'm a really good parent. Maybe I should write books about this and make millions helping other families with daunting transitions."

I peeked in the room after an hour of quiet and found

1. Kids alive and well. Check.
2. Kids sleeping snuggled adorably with stuffed "amimals". Check.
3. Kids sleeping in correct beds. Sheets still on them. Check. Check.

4. Flimsy window shades completely destroyed. Metal bar removed from shades to bang gashes in the week-old dresser and bed frames.


















Clearly, no one should buy this book.