Thursday, July 17, 2008

My favorite gas station

??? Is such a thing possible ???? Oh Yes. I was filling up the car today at a crappy gas station and lamenting that my favorite Fossil Fuel Source is nowhere near my house.

This wondrous place I speak of is: SHEETZ. Not only is this my fave place to get $4 gas (because that's a party all by itself), but it's one of the Top 10 places to eat in America. I discovered the wonder of Sheetz in my small college town where there were TWO stores which each sold gas for $0.75. This was particularly remarkable because this little town had about 3 decent restaurants and a mall that hosted Square Dancing on Friday nights.

For the uninitiated, let me give you the virtual tour.

You are driving along the highway when suddenly you see a bright light that inexplicably draws you closer.

As you pull in to the station, you are blinded by the unnecessary illumination but impressed with the red, shiny building.

You get gas and notice a food menu adjacent to the pump. "What's this? Can I order fresh-made food while I pump gas?" Yes you can! (And that's what makes America great)

As you scroll through the MTO (made to order) touch-screen menu, you are perplexed by some of the choices--Shmuffins? Subz? Fryz? Shmocha? All you need to know is that they're SO TASTY. Eat this, WaWa.

So, you've ordered your meal (Shmagle, perhaps?) and go inside to retrieve it. Immediately you are confronted with an overly-enthusiastic Sheetz representative. "Can I help you find something? Did you notice our MTO menu?" As you look around the store, you are shocked by just how clean this place is. It's no exaggeration to say I wish my house looked this great. Everything is in place, the bathroom smells nice, and the food is hot and ready in 5 minutes.

To the side, you see some sort of paper mache rock formation. In between the fake rocks, there are sliding doors and a sign beckoning you to the BEER CAVE. In some Sheetz locations, a voice actually calls out as you step inside, "Welcome . . . to the BEEEEER CAAAAAAAVE." It's exactly as advertised--an awesome cave of beer. I guess that explains why there were TWO Sheetz in my college town.

In the end you drive away fat and happy and can't wait until the gas gauge blinks "Empty"again.

I took a LOT of weekend road trips in college and saw some of the worst gas stations in the US. One time I stopped to use the facilities and was handed a key and a flashlight (never a good sign). Sheetz is a wonder of capitalism and I want one to open in my neighborhood.


Boom said...

My HUSBAND is running this same campaign! He desperately wants a SHEETZ up in here.

I love ordering any sandwich on a pretzel roll. And the coffee drinks! And the 80s music!

Anna said...

ack! gas station food.

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