Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Debo loses it on Vacay

So we had a great time on vacay last week (pics later), but had one little hiccup.

To understand the depth of our tale of Woe, you should know that our kids sleep in cribs. Starting next month, they will be moving to beds but are crib-bound in the meantime. On the rare occasions we've had them in beds with us, we have learned the hard way that
a. They don't sleep much
b. We don't sleep much
c. The whole family is cranky in the morning.

Keeping this in mind, we reserved the hotel room in advance and were assured 2 cribs in the room. On the road to our destination, I called again to be sure they would have 2 cribs. Upon check-in, I asked again about the 2 cribs and was told they were ready in the room. When the cribs were not apparent in the room, we called the front desk and were told, "Cribs will be right up." At that point, we left for dinner and assumed pac-n-plays would appear magically in the room before our return.

After a long drive where the kids were very patient (and watched the Lion King 3 times), we had dinner with our friends Dave and Kim and put the kids to bed in cribs at their resort. Around 11pm, we picked up the sleeping kiddos and carted them back to our hotel for some much needed sleep.

At 11pm, no cribs and a blinking message light: "Ma'am. You won't believe this, but we don't have any cribs left."

I was tired and was not happy about the prospect of a long night of being kicked in the face by my cranky children. Normally, in this situation I would like to think I can be all Zen when complaining to management. I try to be calm, but firm with my reasonable demands and shame the manager with my Jedi-like professional demeanor into throwing apologies and compensation my way. [You WILL not charge me for the room. You WILL provide extra mints.]

Normally, I am not soooo tired and hormonal.

So I march down to reception and throw the mother of all tantrums at the front desk. No Zen, professional or otherwise. Just yelling and arm waving and more yelling. It wasn't my proudest moment, but it might have been my loudest.

And still there were no cribs. We found out later that Tony at the front desk was actually the Breakfast Bar Manager who was unlucky enough to be in my path that night. Because his training was limited to restocking mini-cereal boxes, he had no managerial skills or authority. Therefore, my dramatic tantrum was pointless to the point of comical.

So I returned to the room and hoped the kids would stay asleep all night between us on the King Sized Bed (oh Debo, will you ever learn?). Here's an annotated time-line of events:

12am--Settle into bed with sleeping Alex and Sasha. Spend 30 minutes plotting hotel vandalism before I fall asleep.

1am--Train rolls by near the hotel. Alex's choo-chooo radar is activated and he immediately sits up. "What's that noise, mommy? Is that TRAIN???!!! Let's go see the train!!!" Yes, and let's take Breakfast-Manager-Tony with us.

1:05--Sasha's up. "Awex took my Pink Ephant! I want to sleep next to mommy! I'm thirsty! I want to sleep with daddy!""

1:10--[Alex in stage whisper] "Shasha, be quiet. Mommy's sleeping. Let's get off the bed."

1:12--Escape attempt thwarted, the kids start climbing over Mom and Dad and wrestling over their Stuffed Animals.

1:20--Mom: "Go to bed. Be quiet. Go to sleep."
Alex: " I want peanut butter on bread. Daddy, I want peanut butter"
Sasha: "I want milk"
Mom: Just wait until morning and Tony will get you all of those things.

1:45--Mom: "Go to sleep. Stop talking. If you talk again, I will take your stuffed animals away." (Big time threat, by the way)

1:47--Sasha starts to hum a song.
1:48 Alex joins the humming.

1:49 --Mom: "STOP HUMMING!!!!"

2am--Kids still singing, bouncing, chattering in the dark. Nu still sleeping. I start to seriously entertain the idea of sending them to sleep in the lobby with Tony.

3am-4am--Sleep? Who can remember.

4am--Alex: "I want to see the boats. Let's go outside, mommy"
Sasha: "Mommy's sleeping. Ask Daddy."

5am--At the merest hint of sunlight, the kids are up and ready to see the BEACH!!!!!

5am-6am--We do everything short of bungee-cording the kids to the bed and finally give up to hit the breakfast bar. WATCH OUT TONY!!! WE'RE COMING YOUR WAY!!

6am--Nu discourages me from letting the kids wreak havoc on the breakfast bar. In retrospect, he was probably right, but it would have been really entertaining.

My interaction with the management did not improve a lot the next morning, but I did yell a little less. We got the night free and an upgrade the next night, but I have a scathing and detailed letter to the Hotel Corporate Office ready to squeeze some more compensation from The Man.

I'll post an update soon about the better parts of vacay.


Boom said...

The WORST!! Oh, I'd be so steaming mad. I hate the way they don't "guarantee" a crib until you're already there.

They wouldn't do that to the adults, would they, breakfast bar Tony? See how well it goes over when you tell that rotund business man that he'll have to sleep on the floor, dangit, they're all fresh out of BEDS.

Debo said...

Thanks Boom! It's nice to know I'm not alone in my indignation.

Anonymous said...

Milk them for all their worth!
:) They deserve it!
- Carlye

Leslie Ruth Petree said...

Personally, I would have encouraged Sasha and Alex to have been the worst they've ever been at breakfast, while you and Naoshi sit idly by. I applaud your maturity.

Unknown said...

I saw it coming. Tired and pregnant. As she stormed out the door to go to the front desk, I said a little prayer for the front desk person. "Please God, whoever the unfortunate person is, be hard of hearing and have skin as thick as a rhino."

Debo is coming and hell is coming with her... I think that was a quote from Tombstone.

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