Friday, August 8, 2008

Olympics Opening Ceremonies Drinking Game

Note: Much of this was ripped-off from Be sure to drink responsibly!


The Olympics are referred to as Beijing's "coming-out party."

A TV announcer refers to China's "rising middle class."

A TV announcer refers to the fact that the Chinese frequent KFC, McDonald's, and Starbucks, just like us!

A TV announcer makes note of the fact that the Chinese people eat all sorts of crazy things, including dog leg, donkey meat, scorpion kebab, and yak.

Teenage girls are shown giggling while watching Michael Phelps.

An announcer mentions the intense Beijing air pollution.

An announcer brings up the Chinese government's ability to rid the atmosphere of said pollution by artificially inducing rain.

The sad story of "Dan and Dave" is brought up.

Every time you see a lantern, fan, or fireworks


Bob Costas informs us that an athlete has "prepared his whole life for just this one moment."

An announcer utters any of the following phrases:

1) "Everyone in the stadium was a winner today." (Or its inverse: "There are no losers here.")
2) "This is what the Olympics are all about."
3) "[Random obscure athlete who competes in an event you only pay attention to once every four years and who will never be heard from again] will remember this day for the rest of his life."
4) An announcer states, "This is truly what the Olympic Games are all about."

An announcer acknowledges that saying something like "the whole world is watching" is a cliché, but proceeds to say it anyway.

An announcer tell us that a participant is competing despite:
1) The recent diagnosis of a family member/loved one with a life-threatening disease.
2) The recent death of a family member/loved one by way of a life-threatening disease.
3) Having been diagnosed with a physically debilitating or crippling disease as a child.
4) Having been maimed in a tractor accident or other freak occurrence as a child.
5) Having grown up with no access to food, clean water, training equipment, or sneakers.
6) Having grown up in the midst of genocide/geopolitical strife/major war.

The final heat of a competition featuring an American and a Chinese Olympian is billed as "a showdown between East and West."

There is some type of interpretive dance illustrating the last 2,000 yrs of China's glorious history.

The great wall is recreated by 1,000 school children in a gigantic human pyramid.


The wrong country is named during their opening procession.

The American Opening Ceremonies uniform includes a Cowboy hat.

The American Opening Ceremonies uniform is uglier than EVERY OTHER COUNTRY REPRESENTED.

You learn of a country's existence for the first time as they cross the field at Opening Ceremonies.

An athlete faints on camera due to pollution.

The Olympic Flame goes out.


Mahmoud Ahmadinejad applauds the American soccer squad's "fine effort on the pitch and exemplary patriotism."

Chinese president Hu Jintao invites the Dalai Lama to be the official lighter of the Olympic torch, after which he grants Tibet total political and religious autonomy.

David A. features prominently in the telecast.


Anna said...

this is awesome. have you considered developing drinking games as a full-time profession? it's a gift of yours.

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